how sign language taught me awareness

i've been teaching my daughter sign language, as studies show that it's an effective way for babies to communicate before they develop the skills to verbally communicate, and it's been a beautiful, sometimes frustrating journey.

recently the sign for milk, has been accompanied by the sign for food/eat.
and one day, she did it, consistently, in almost the same pattern, that i've been doing it, and i missed it. not only did i miss it, but i began to discourage her from doing it, simply because i didn't have the awareness to understand her.

i noticed she kept putting her fingers to her mouth, after every spoonful, which was hindering the process of my feeding her, so i pulled her fingers from her mouth, again, and again, and again. it took me 2 days to realize that she was doing exactly what i taught her do.

I immediately aligned this with my own life. i've been through many journey's, i've achieved many strengths, i've read many books, heard many poems, listened to many songs, healed over many heartbreaks, and learned many lessons, my heart, my spirit, my life has, and continues to prepare me for milestones, yet a lot of the pain, and hinderances i experience is simply because i was not aware enough to realize the manifestation of my instincts.

we get so caught up in our present state of being, that we sometimes miss our preparedness. we've been prepared for such a time as this, the strength you need to get through your present circumstance has already been made available in you, but our awareness is off, and because our awareness is off, when our instincts kick in, we discourage our own growth. we are so focused on the bad, we miss the good that is already stored up inside of us, and that is manifesting around us, daily.

how do we become and remain aware?

* open your eyes and your heart.
* be an active participant in your healing processes. if you pray, put legs to your prayer.
* love. continue to love genuinely, and in the pureness it demands.
* mediate, sit in silence, and just breathe. if you must focus, focus only the positive aspects of your  
   situation.
* cry with purpose, cry with the intent to purge, to cleanse.
* believe in your own growth.
* live, and act deliberately.
* be accountable to your actions.
* trust your instincts to have your back.

you haven't been through, what you've been through, without a reason. every step prepares us for the next step we have to take.

what does this mean for me? i'm now parenting with all eyes open. i'm now rewarding my growth as a woman, mother, artistic being, by letting my past work for me. it's time for me to graduate from some lessons loves.

what does this mean for you? only you can answer that.

the deep kiss of change

i've always been in a love/hate relationship with change. on one hand, i love that comfort zones are not made of indestructible materials, and that change is a catalyst that turns the fear of a journey, into the best decision you've ever made. i also hate that change takes things away from you, things and people that you've loved, and in most cases you are the one that ends up leaving them behind, thanks to change.

but i was reminded of a lesson i'm forcefully learning, when a soul sister posted this on instagram today

Lesson: no one can, and will (effectively) change until their natural progression is ready for it.

i've spent years being told by other people, and by my own heart, what i should do, how i should change, and when change is the incorrect term for evolve, but it's now, that my change and evolution is manifesting, simply because now is the right time.

a past love interest came to visit me a few days ago, and we sat and talked for a bit, we talked about our kids, we talked about our respective relationships, our past with each other, and most importantly our growth and maturity over the years, it was like we were meeting for the first time all over again. i was sharing with him, how my thought processes regarding romantic relationships has changed drastically over the years, and more so in just a few months, and he commented "that's why we were never going to work out". it simply wasn't the right time (among a few other things)

when it comes to change and our natural progression, timing is absolutely everything! the emotion, intellect, and will must be aligned for any progress to be effective, not only must we want it, but we must come to a full understanding of why we want it.

i've always wanted to travel the world, and be introduced to the beauty and people outside of my immediate world, but now that i've been blessed with babygirl, i'm ready. i'm ready to pack up my life and my accomplishment and experience the world with her. she makes me ready to want to change, and evolve, my natural progression is aligning, and the pursuit of love makes me ready...our first stop is Montreal, QC for CFSW!

i have this feeling in my butterfly ridden gut that i'm beginning an amazing journey, one that i've dreamed about, and now i'm actually ready for.

love.