my gripe with puppy dog eyes

"Tell me about an interesting date you've been on, good or bad."

now that i'm a new 30year old, i can say my dating history is just enough to have funny stories, but not enough to be labeled loose by my judgemental counterparts. through the years, i have developed my own strong views on dating, and i have reached the conclusion that dating and i have a love/hate relationship.

his name was...visibly caribbean, and he attended my parents church. he was enamoured with me for a while, making flirty comments here and there, and subjecting me to these horrid puppy dog eyes, everytime i glanced in his direction, which i've experienced before, being the pastor's daughter, the boys to men always like me first. the horrid puppy dog eyes quickly, and confidently escalated to requests to take me out, and a swift 'no' was always my response.

there is something to be said about persistent men however, those mugs know how to wear a woman down, so out of annoyance, and somewhat pity, i agreed to a first date. i mean, you never know, he could have turned out to be amazing in a one on one setting, and i've never hid the fact, that a great way to woo me, is with great conversational skills.

boy. oh boy.
the only thing this boy to man did right was buy me 3 bags of skittles (my favourite candy), and pay at the end of dinner.

1. he took me to a whack ass restaurant for a first date....the mandarin
2. he lied: homeboy told me he had reservations for 6pm, so i got ready for 6pm, then right when i'm stepping out of my house, he calls and says reservations are for 7:30pm. grrrrr. i get to the mandarin for 7:30pm, only to be told by the greeter the reservation was for 8:30pm.
3. he came late. end of point. 
4. he came late: they were kind enough to seat me at 8:15, because i'm sure they could see the storm clouds forming along my brow, and at the corners of my mouth. i nursed my glass of water until he got there....after 9pm.
5. he came looking like shit: now on any date, i make sure i look great, especially the first date, i need to look like 'wanting me is just the natural thing for you to do,' BUT homeboy rolled up into the mandarin looking like him and his boy rayray were playing video games all day before he left the house. a dry ass tshirt, and a dry ass pair of jeans. *rubs temples*
6. he stared at me the whole time: which i don't normally disapprove of, as long as it's accompanied by great conversational skills. he had NONE. he literally mumbled some stuff about how pretty i was, and how he's been waiting for this for a long time, and he sat there and stared at me.

so because i was starvational, my stomach filled with gas, making it difficult to eat anything, i ended that date after an 1hour and a half of horrid puppy dog eyes, stomach pains, and sheer boredom. 

7. he asked me for a second date: to which my reply was listing out the very points i just shared with you, before walking to my car alone, and driving my hungry ass home.

the lesson i learned....never go on a pity date, it will not end well.

love.

p.s. what are your worst date experiences? i would love to hear about it!